


Of Hidden Pasts and Unexpected Reactions

by Baka Ouji (Kaworu)



Series: SnK Crack Ficlets [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, M/M, Pole Dancing, Tsundere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:34:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaworu/pseuds/Baka%20Ouji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another training session with Hanji, and this time some surprising facts come out about one of the characters' past. Reactions vary and substances fly.</p>
<p>Set supposedly after the current arc of manga, but there are no real spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Hidden Pasts and Unexpected Reactions

As soon as Eren was back and fit for duty, Hanji wanted him to train. Figured. He sighed and dragged himself to the clearing where they were supposed to meet.

"Hey, Eren!" Hanji greeted him cheerfully. "How are you feeling?"

Eren opened his mouth to answer, but Hanji was already talking again.

"It's so good to have you back. You have no idea how bo-- I mean, lonely it was without you! I can't wait to continue with our experiments. What about you, Eren? Did you miss me, too?"

This time Eren didn't even bother trying to answer.

"Shitty glasses, he'll go deaf from your constant blabbering."

As soon as Eren heard Levi's voice, he turned to face his commanding officer immediately going into parade stance.

"Good morning, sir! Erm, sirs," Eren corrected when he saw Commander Erwin closely behind Levi.

"At ease," Levi told him.

Eren relaxed and watched Levi closely as Hanji and Erwin exchanged greetings. Levi was in his uniform, already recovered from his wound. Or at least that was what he told everyone, but Eren wasn't sure if he was convinced. Levi's gait seemed a little off to him.

"What are you staring at, brat?" Levi asked, and his tone was neutral enough.

"Sorry, sir," Eren answered. "I'm glad you're fine again."

"Not that it's any of your business," Levi muttered, turning away.

Eren bit his lip to keep from smiling.

"So, sir, why are you here today?" Hanji was asking Erwin, and Eren turned to look at them, curious.

"Nothing you have to worry about," Erwin told her. "I just want to see how far you've gotten with Eren."

"You have no idea, sir!" Hanji announced happily. "We've done so much so far, and today I was going to work on Eren's ability to harden parts of himself. Are you interested? I can tell you all of my theories."

"I think I'll better watch," Erwin replied with a small smile.

"As you wish, sir. Now then, Eren. Are you ready to transform?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Eren answered and dutifully bit onto his hand before he could get too nervous from so many superiors watching him.

His senses shifted as he transformed. It wasn't as shocking as it had once been, but still the feeling wasn't exactly pleasant. As soon as the steam cleared, Eren looked around, getting used to the new perspective.

"It looks easier now, doesn't it?" Erwin's voice sounded from below.

Eren looked down to see the others gathered around his feet.

"Yes, it does. I think...."

"Oi, brat."

Eren tuned Hanji out as soon as he heard Levi's voice.

"Get down here, I don't want to break my neck looking up at you."

Eren carefully lowered himself onto his hands and knees, and then even further down until his chin was almost touching the ground.

"That's better," Levi told him.

"Thank you for ordering my subject around," Hanji intervened with obvious sarcasm. "Now step aside, I have experiments to do."

Levi huffed but walked away a few steps, stopping with his arms folded on his chest.

"Now, Eren." Hanji was standing in front of him, a notebook in her hand. "Let's start with something small. Say, a strand of hair."

Eren nodded. He separated a small strand of hair from the rest and held it between two fingers so that it dangled in front of his face. Then he concentrated, trying to harden it.

After a minute Hanji poked the strand with her pen, and it shifted easily.

"Hmm, doesn't seem to work," she commented. "Eren, are you concentrating enough?"

Eren nodded.

"Make that happen, brat. That's an order," Levi's voice told him from the side, and Eren wanted to sigh. Easy for him to say.

An hour later he was able to cover the strand of hair with a thin layer of crystalline substance that shuttered easily when Hanji touched it with her pen.

"I'm fucking tired of this," Levi grumbled from his standing point. "Listen, Eren. If you don't do something _very soon_ , I'm declaring this shitty experiment a failure, cutting you out, and you'll spend the next month cleaning the toilets."

"Oi!" Hanji protested at the same time as Erwin said "Now, now, Levi. You can't rush these things."

Levi huffed, and Eren was sure that no matter what Commander Erwin thought, Levi would find a way to make Eren clean the toilets for the rest of his life. He squeezed his eyes, trying not to think of his bleak future, but a moment later had to open them again at Hanji's happy squeal.

"Eren! You did it!" she yelled.

He blinked a few times before looking at the strand of hair between his fingers. He shook it a bit, but it remained straight.

"Now let's see how strong it is."

"Here, let me," Levi said as he walked towards Eren.

Eren didn't even have time to blink before Levi jumped and kicked the strand with all his might.

The strand stood still.

"Hmm," Levi commented, his tone mildly approving.

Eren sighed in relief. Apparently his toilet duty was off.

"I wonder if the structure is consistent throughout the strand," Hanji said, making a few notes. "Levi, could you climb up to check?"

"Why the fuck should I take part in _your_ experiment," Levi retorted with a glare.

"Because you're already here and you seem bored," Hanji returned.

Levi tsk'ed but still climbed up the strand, and Eren's eyes nearly crossed as he tried watch the Corporal. Levi knocked on the strand from time to time then hit and kicked it in several places.

"Consistent," he announced before sliding down.

"Good, good." Hanji scribbled in her notebook. "Now let's see how long Eren can keep it up."

Eren sighed. He should have anticipated something like that.

"And what am _I_ supposed to do in the meantime!?" Levi demanded.

"Whatever you want," Hanji replied. "You're not part of the experiment."

Levi opened his mouth to retort, but before he could say anything, Erwin started talking.

"You could remember the old days," he said. "It's been a while since I've seen you in _that_ kind of action."

Eren frowned, confused. What was Erwin talking about?

"And why would I do that?" Levi asked. "If you want a show, go somewhere else."

Eren looked at Hanji, but she seemed just as clueless.

"I won't deny that I want to see it," Erwin continued, "but haven't you once said that it took a lot more strength and agility than it looked? Or do you think you're not up for the task? Which would be completely understandable, of course - you've had no practice for years, and you _have_ just recovered from an injury."

Levi scowled at the very obvious challenge.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I had enough practice. 3D Manoeuvre Gear requires about the same skills." He narrowed his eyes at Erwin. "Ah, well," he added, sounding pointedly indifferent. "Might as well warm up while I'm here."

Levi put a hand on the strand almost lazily, sliding it up until it was well above his head, and then spun around the strand. His other hand also came up, gripping the strand, and Levi lifted himself up, still spinning, his legs going into a split midair.

Eren's jaw dropped. And by the sound of it, so did Hanji's.

Levi continued spinning, twisting until only one of his hands was gripping the strand, his other hand holding one of his legs so that they were parallel to the strand. Did gravity apply to him at all?, Eren thought.

Another twist, and Levi was spinning upside down, one leg curled around the strand while the rest of his body moved slowly until it was at the ninety degree angle to the leg that was still gripping the strand.

"Holy cow," Eren heard Hanji muttering, and he couldn't agree more.

But Levi obviously wasn't finished. After righting himself he climbed higher on the strand, still upside down, and then, holding himself only by his hands, bent backwards until his feet were nearly touching his head.

Eren thought where this flexibility could be applied and felt his face heating.

Just then Levi moved into another split, this time his body pressed to one of the legs, and... his hands weren't on the strand!? How the hell was he holding himself up!? Levi was sliding down the strand slowly, and Eren couldn't tear his eyes off.

"Eren?" It was Hanji, but Eren decided to ignore her. "Eren, is that a nosebleed? Are titans even capable of nosebleeds?"

Eren tuned her out.

Levi stopped sliding before he could reach the ground and climbed back up only to let his body fall back, the strand squeezed between his legs. Another twist, and he was pressed to the strand in another split, facing it this time, only a moment later he didn't, because he let himself shift back, like a lever, gripping the strand with both his hands.

Eren felt hot. Too hot. He was sure that there was something wrong with his titan form, but he chose to ignore it for the moment.

Levi was still twisting and spinning, his eyes half closed, until he righted himself one more time, upside down once again. He stopped spinning, and then took one leg off the strand, letting it stay there at a small angle, and then the other, making a slightly bigger angle. It looked like he was walking backwards in the air.

Eren felt his mind shut down.

***

Levi slid off the strand, happy with himself. It had been a very long while, but he found out that he remembered most of his moves, and what his brain didn't remember, his body did. Let Erwin, the smug bastard, choke on his own challenge.

"Levi, move away from Eren!" Hanji screamed, and Levi frowned. He almost forgot that the brat was here, and it was his strand of hardened hair that Levi had been using as a pole.

Levi turned to Eren and his heightened mood dropped. The titan's face was bright red, there was blood dripping from his nose, and steam was coming in steady sprouts out of his ears.

Levi backed away. No matter how he looked at the picture, Eren didn't seem in possession of his faculties. Levi didn't want to attack first, so he made a few more steps back. And just in time, because the steam from Eren's ears hissed dangerously a second before his head exploded, covering everything in blood and goo that was supposed to be titan brains.

"Gross," Levi muttered, wiping the stuff off his face. "Oi, brat!" he called. "You're going to clean it!"

There was no answer, but it was expected. Levi watched as Hanji dragged Eren out of the titan remains.

"Is he okay?" he asked flatly. It wasn't that he wasn't worried, but he couldn't very well _show it_ now, could he?

"Fine, thankfully," Hanji answered. "Now, _that_ was an unexpected reaction!" she announced cheerfully. "Levi, how do you thi--"

"Shut up," he told her as he walked up to Eren.

Eren's eyes were closed, a creepy insane grin on his face, and he was muttering something. Levi leaned down to listen.

"Corporal...," Eren was muttering, and Levi narrowed his eyes. What was the brat going to say about him? "so... sexy...."

Levi felt his face burning, and he kicked Eren in the gut before storming off.

**Author's Note:**

> Initially inspired by [this picture](http://nagisa-kaworu.deviantart.com/art/Levi-PoleDance-SnK-394280682), but I just wanted to draw something like that until I decided to watch a couple of Jenyne Butterfly videos for reference. Then I remembered a prompt from SnK kink meme @ Dreamwidth that asked for Levi being from sex industry instead of a regular thug (sorry, I don't remember any more details of the prompt), and that's how this monster came to life ^^"
> 
> If you have any problems imagining what Levi is doing, watch [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vn9b-ogoz1s). It's worth it, I promise ^_^


End file.
